Your name constantly slips out of my mouth, almost like the word “like”
It irks me that I’m better at writing than speaking. Though nowadays words just don’t come out like they used to, I feel like my writings are still decent enough. Those written letters show how I feel, it can represent who I am. Yet it’s the opposite when I voice my mind out. The phrases just aren’t pretty, not even near organized, and I hate that I keep saying the word “like”. Or “kayak” in Bahasa. Like this. Kayak gini.
These days, there is actually another word that I keep reusing the most. This specific word appears in every conversation, it finds its way in every topic I bring up. Almost like the word “like” or “kayak”, it just pops up naturally, as if I’m talking about something so ordinary — like telling stories about my favorite ice cream place or an excerpt from a movie that I’ve watched seven times. Unlike those two filler phrase, this one word is actually pretty to hear and very pleasing to say. It manifest itself in the most random talks — making them a bit unorganized but I am fond of it.
You guessed it. The word that keeps slipping out of my lips is no other than your name. Those two syllables are just very charming to say as I link my mind into the memories I have for you. I cannot help but to talk about you. Maybe it’s because I’ve grown soft and softer for you that my heart just can’t help but to celebrate the thought of you. You’re so fun to talk about and that is why your name comes across every conversation, prayers, and wish I have.
Perhaps, if slipping your name falls so easily in the tip of my mouth, I fear I am capable of more. I could do more than just talking about you to my small circle of friends. I could like you better. For you, I’d rip my chest open so that you could see the heart that beats at the thought of you. Maybe, I’d let you hold it — even keep it. Well, it’s already yours since the moment you’ve spoken so softly to me about the things that you cherish. For the sake of challenging me to sacrifice things just for you, would you take the chance with me?
